


take a fall (for me)

by babyjae



Series: near to you, i am healing [1]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, a new series i'll probably update once every decade, i love yugjae i want to explore them, see i told u i can write nonporn things, unrequited!yugbam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-20 10:16:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8245492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyjae/pseuds/babyjae
Summary: youngjae's content in being yugyeom's anchor, his shoulder to cry on, his friend.
but yugyeom realises that he's worth so much more.





	

**Author's Note:**

> based on these instagram posts from a few months back (but mainly the first one): http://fuckyeahchoiyoungjae.tumblr.com/post/141110078682/16032016-youngjaes-ig-update

It had been a long day.

Tears prickled at the corner of Youngjae’s eyes as he yawned widely, dragging his heavy feet towards the single sized bed sitting beside the clothes rack, a soft sigh escaping his lips as he sunk into the mattress. His hair was still slightly damp and he knew he’d regret not drying it properly later but he couldn’t care less, opting to slip under the warm covers of Yugyeom’s blanket instead. It was a known fact that Youngjae no longer slept in his shared room with Jaebum with how stuffy it was so Youngjae often found himself camping out in the living room or the floor of their manager’s room. But tonight, Yugyeom had offered to share his bed seeing as how the temperature had unexpectedly dropped, despite it being the middle of March already.

The sound of the shower running just inside Jinyoung’s room served as a peaceful background noise for Youngjae. He was tired, but he wanted to wait for Yugyeom to finish cleaning up before he went to sleep. Trying to distract himself, Youngjae turned on his phone and opened instagram, scrolling through his feed and liking various pictures of dogs and videos he thought were funny. He cleared the notifications he received earlier that day from the video of Coco he uploaded as well as the selca of a morphed version of his face. Deciding to spoil his fans even more, Youngjae positioned his phone a few inches above his face and angled his head in  _ just the right way _ before snapping another picture. Once he was satisfied with the outcome, he posted it with the caption ‘goodnight #yugyeomsbed’ and received hundreds of likes barely a second later, the comments flooding in making him laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

Youngjae looked up at the sound of Yugyeom’s voice and smiled softly, locking his phone and putting it down by his pillow. Yugyeom was already dressed in his pajamas, looking absolutely adorable in a pair of loose sweat pants and even looser shirt as he towelled his hair dry. “Nothing,” Youngjae replied, reaching his arms out for the younger boy, his fists clenching and unclenching like that of a child. “Hurry up and get in, it’s cold.”

Yugyeom chuckled and shook his head in amusement at his hyung’s childishness. Sometimes, Youngjae seemed more like the maknae than he was. “Just a second,” he said, doing his usual nightly skincare routine before joining Youngjae in bed.

The bed was not big enough for the both of them. The space was small and cramped but with a little shifting around, they managed. Youngjae was almost on top of Yugyeom, his arm wrapped around his torso while one of his legs draped over the younger boy’s thighs, his face buried in the expanse of Yugyeom’s chest. His body relaxed almost instantly as he took a deep breath, relishing in the mixed scent of freshly pressed cotton and citrus emanating from the maknae. To others, it might have been weird to see two friends pressed so closely together and looking so intimate too but Youngjae and Yugyeom did this so often that it wasn’t strange to them anymore.

In the past, it would have been Kunpimook in Youngjae’s position. Although Youngjae was close to Yugyeom, he knew that his bond with the younger boy couldn’t rival the one he had with Kunpimook. Kunpimook wasn’t _ just  _ Yugyeom’s best friend, he was also his first love, someone Yugyeom adored and was completely smitten over. But with recent events involving Kunpimook announcing his relationship with Jackson, their friendship had drifted slightly - they still spoke and hung out like they normally did, Yugyeom determined not to let his little heartache get in the way, but he also needed time to heal and being with Kunpimook 24/7 wouldn’t have helped. Deep down, Youngjae knew that he was a replacement but it didn’t matter as long as he was by Yugyeom’s side. He wanted to protect the younger boy, wanted him to know that he was important, loved and cherished and that’s exactly what he did.

“Hyung.”

Youngjae was brought out of his thoughts by the younger boy’s call. He was already starting to fall asleep, Yugyeom’s warmth giving him the utmost comfort, making him feel like he was right at home. But he also wanted to give Yugyeom his undivided attention so he fought his dreams away and propped his chin on the other’s chest, looking up at him through sleepy eyes, smiling softly. “Hm?”

It took a while for Yugyeom to answer back, Youngjae watching as he dragged his teeth across his lower lip, chewing lightly, looking deep in thought. It was a habit Yugyeom had when he was particularly nervous, or when he was trying to find the right words to say. Despite his lethargy, Youngjae didn’t push and instead waited, rubbing soothing circles on Yugyeom’s stomach, hoping it would ease his nerves a little.

“What would you do…” Yugyeom started, inhaling a shaky breath. “What would you do if I told you that I like you?”

Youngjae’s eyes widened in surprise, his movements stopping as he braced himself against his elbow, staring down at Yugyeom, now wide awake. The younger boy looked shy, avoiding eye contact with Youngjae whilst Youngjae was trying to keep a neutral expression himself despite the rapid beating of his heart. A million thoughts were running through his head as he wondered if he had done anything for Yugyeom to finally discover his feelings, his  _ true  _ feelings that he had harboured for the younger boy for so long but no matter how hard he thought, nothing came up. It was then that he figured that Yugyeom probably didn’t mean it in  _ that way _ . It had only been six months since the revelation of Kunpimook’s relationship and Yugyeom was still in the process of getting over his heartbreak, it was impossible for him to have any feelings for Youngjae. Youngjae’s heart constricted a little at the thought but he swallowed down the lump in his throat and offered Yugyeom a small smile. “I like you too, Yugyeom-ah. You’re a good dongsaeng.”

Youngjae watched with close attention as Yugyeom’s expression morphed from pleasant surprise to upset confusion until it eventually settled on tender realisation. He shifted slightly as Yugyeom moved to sit against the headboard, legs crossed before he took Youngjae’s hands in his, thumbs running across his knuckles gently. “That’s not what I meant, Youngjae-hyung,” he said, still a little shy, but a bit more confident as he looked at Youngjae in the eye. “When I said like I meant it in a romantic sense. When I said like I meant I want to cuddle with you every night, I want to hold your hand, I want to stay up with you and accompany you while you play games. I want to...I want to kiss you and tell you how special you are, and I want to take care of you just like how you always take care of me.”

Yugyeom’s words shot straight to his heart, his cheeks colouring a light red. Still, he couldn’t help but feel slightly doubtful. How could Yugyeom move on from someone like Kunpimook to someone like... _ him _ ? Sure, Youngjae had his good qualities but he and Kunpimook were world’s apart, they were so  _ different _ and Kunpimook was a lot better than him in many aspects. “That...that can’t be true,” Youngjae whispered, eyes downcast. “Please don’t joke with me, Yugyeom-ah.”

“Why would you think I’m joking?” Yugyeom frowned, heart shattering at the thought of being rejected again.

“It’s just impossible,” Youngjae mumbled. “‘Mook is your first love. First love’s aren’t easily forgotten and you’ve loved him for a very, very long time. I was content in being his replacement but I can’t...I can’t take his place in your heart, Yugyeom-ah. I’m scared that I won’t be able to live up to your expectations,” he confessed, then, in the smallest of voices, continued, “Kunpimook to you is like what you are to me, Yugyeom. I’ve loved you from the very beginning but I knew not to get greedy and just being by your side, making you smile and laugh, is enough for me. Just being your friend is enough for me.”

“But it’s not enough for me,” Yugyeom admitted, running his fingers through Youngjae’s locks before pushing his chin up and cupping his face. His heart clenched at how sad Youngjae looked, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. He pressed their foreheads together and smiled softly. “Hyung,” he murmured. “Never once did I think of you as a replacement. Sure, at the start, you were a good distraction from Kunpimook. But it’s been  _ half a year _ , hyung. Yeah, he was my first love and he’ll always have a special place in my heart but as a  _ best friend _ . I’ve moved on, I’ve accepted the fact that I can’t have him and you know what? I’m actually  _ happy _ to see him and Jackson-hyung together now. I don’t have a chance with him anymore but with you, I still do and I’m not going to let you go. I’m not expecting anything from you either. You’ve helped me so much for the past few months and you’ve stayed by my side without a single complaint, not when I got snot all over your favourite shirt, not when you lost sleep because I made you sing to me every night. And honestly? I’m stupid for not realising it sooner, for not seeing that the one for me is  _ you _ .”

“Y-You’re not lying?” Youngjae sniffled, no longer able to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall earlier.

Yugyeom chuckled, wiping at Youngjae’s cheeks. “I pour my heart out to you and you still think I’m lying,” he sighed. “Of course I’m not.  _ I _ , Kim Yugyeom, like  _ you _ , Choi Youngjae. With all my heart.”

An inexplicable amount of happiness filled Youngjae’s chest and he couldn’t help but cry even more, but this time, out of joy. He had always dreamed of this moment, always dreamed of Yugyeom finally noticing him but none of them could compare to the reality of it being true. He knew that he and Yugyeom still had a long way to go - he needed to learn how to live in the moment, get over his insecurities, love himself for all the goods he had to offer. And, as Yugyeom kissed his tears away and hugged him tight, whispering soothing and loving words into his ear, he knew that Yugyeom would be there with him every step of the way. With Yugyeom by his side, he knew that he was going to be okay.

They were going to be okay.


End file.
